Fuck... no one notice

Yesterday, I had a bad flue and massive headache. And I think I might have a slight fever.

Yesterday, my college had open day. So my mom and me went. Then, I started to feel the headache and started to get heaty. But I ignore, and keep lining against my mom.

Later I start go to my society meeting. Damn... headache became massive and I just keep quiet about it. I thought Emily would notice, but she didn't =\

the next day, which was today, I came to college with a bad cough and bad flue. And I lack of sleep again. I can't fall asleep! The headache or the heat keep waking me up.

My cough was so bad and no one asked about me, instead my friends asked another friend that was sick last week and had recover.

I hinted Linda that I'm sick, she was like didn't care. Wth... haiz...

Feel bad for mom

Ever since my mom have naik pangkat, I could feel that the distance with her and her colleages have gotten further.

Sometimes she share her feelings about them to me. So even I feel unfair for her.

Last time, they should to use a lot of things together. Ever since then, I could see they have change. When my mom had change department, the colleages still cared about me. Sometimes will left some food for me, help my mom to look out for me.

Like I said, things change. One of the reasons was my mom live quite far compare with Emily's mom with Linda's mom. (Yeah, our moms are college, that's why we knew each other) . Even there was a lot of things between colleagues, my mom was like usually was in their gang (you know, like those in school, kids will have their own gangs, they are something like that) . Now is like my mom kinda left out from the gang.

I'm writing this because of one of the incident, was quite recent. Yes... my mom is a teacher in a school. I just finish my spm last year and last week, we could collect the real cert from the office.

I said it before, Linda is my current classmate, so she inform another classmate that was also same secondary school. I was half surprise why my mom didnt mention about it. My mom didn't know, I can't blame her that she do not know, cause I always see her quite stress out with school problems and stuff. Sometimes is better not to ask about the problem, since it was private and confidential. So I thought eventually she'll know from office staff.

But the teacher in charged of SPM is one of my mom's close friend. She didn't even inform her.

The next day after I knew that could collect, (even myself forgot to mention to my mom about collecting the cert) , I got a message from Em, said that she gonna collect the cert and shun bian pass me her souvenirs from her trip from Korea.

Later that night, I asked my mom about the souvenirs from Em. And she also helped me collect my cert. When I heard her say, if Em's mom(Em didn't go, her mom help to collect) didn't look for my mom, she wouldn't know that we could collect the cert already.

That thought hurts me. Why her friendship between her colleagues change just because she had naik pangkat? She felt like she had betrayed by her friends.

When she naik pangkat, she still trying hard to keep her friends, everyone of her friend's birthday, she sure will buy Secret Recipe cake for them or any present to show her sincerity. But when her birthday, no one gave her anything. Except her ex-colleagues.

She is a nice lady. Why society look at people's position so highly until forgotten the friendship that they used to have.

Crush and crushes

Omg... I wish I don't have a crush or something... I have this habit of having crush every year. And I don't like it.

It started when I was just primary school. I'll have different crush in different years. But if I'm with the same classmates for the different year, then most probably my crush will be same.

During secondary school, I joined societies, clubs, house practice. So I know or see more people.. so mostly I'll have crushes from there, but it wasn't as bad as primary school. To be honest, I only liked 3 guys. form 2 till 3 one guy (house practice), form 4 one guy (saw him in a mall and he caught my eye, then didn't expect him that he was in the same uniform unit) and form 5 one (classmate)

Now!! College is gotten worst!! My 1st sem coursemate, there's one guy I'm interested, but later found out that he was taken, so I manage to not think of him. Then my moral studies, we had join  with few groups of seniors. And this one guy look super cute, but deep down, he was out of my league. So forgot it...

Then here comes 2nd sem, I don't know why I keep noticing him, like little things. I had two classes with him. One class I purposely sit behind him, and another he sit next to me (this time I didn't purposely sit next to him, he asked himself to sit there o_O)

then weeks later, I overheard his conversation with one of my coursemate about fetch him to his place... Wait... it sounds confusing... okay... let's say the guy I'm interested now is Nathan and my coursemate is Adam. So Adam asked Nathan jokingly to fetch Adam to Nathan's place. Then Nathan reply, can't, cause need to pick up girlfriend. I hope I listened wrong, but part of me also hope it was true, so I could stop be interested in him.

Haiz.. but it's hard when he sit next to me. Even recently that I said some mistake, then he lightly hit me on the head with a paper. Then yesterday, while walking back to my car after class, I was humming a random song, minding I own business, taking my own sweet time. Then suddenly from behind he wack my bag me with his file and talk to me for a few sentence then he walk off like a he was in hurry...

At that moment, I was so confuse! I'm that kind of person easily influence. Maybe the actions were just to be a friendly classmate, my mind playing tricks in my brain said that he might giving hints... WTH??

Why my head is so complicated??

College life

It had been very long since I write this blog. I think that, th's purpose of this blog is to spill my mind out. When I'm stress I will probably write here if I can't share with friends around me.

So yeah.... my college life started and my results wasn't that good. Obviously... Now I'm on my 2nd sem of foundation.

Haiz... From the 1st sem, I don't have much close classmates, I could say I'm in a gang of 5. Every class sure will have one gang very active, so they don't really mix much with us.

Even now, in my group, I could feel there's a gap or boundary between the gang and me. Maybe is my results made the gap? Or I do not have enough exposure so nothing to talk about? Or my interest are very different with others.

Even when I try to share my interest with them, I could see their facial expression shows that they're not interested :(

Haiz... what to do?

Kinda-Disappointed-Birthday

I know... Now is October (and I suppose to be studying for end term exam) and I've to 16th of August.

Like I said, I'm typical Malaysian that dreams a lot. Of cause I want lots of present. I got a few from my friends. Wait. I only got from 3 friends. Michelle bought me a thin blue hairband(it kinda look cheap) and a charm or bracelet with treble clef and is also blue in colour. Zoe and Clarissa shared buy rings(stainless steel of cause)

Others, like Emily, Linda didn't buy me anything for me. Kinda sad about it. But they make a file of birthday wishes from most of my friends. Yeah... got lots of YongHwa!! (CN Blue). I'm not saying that I don't appreciate what they've prepared, Just that Amelia(another friend) Just one day younger than me got more stuff than me.. That make me jealous to the max.

Yeah..  she also got a file(but thicker), CD album(SuperJunior)... I think that's all I know of. Coincidentally that on her birthday was a holiday, so she organized to go karaoke at Neway. She also invited me too. Emily, Linda, Steph, Carmen had prepared cake for us too.

I didn't pay for the cake. Linda and Emily is my longest friends, but they didn't buy anything! But but Amelia present when she only known them for 2 years. Haiz... Don't tell me that them pay that cake consider my present??

I don't mind that they can't buy me CN Blue album(but yes, of cause I want that). But at least they could share to buy something else. At least let me know that they think of me as a friend.

Now, come to think family's the best. Mom bought lots of things for me. Even my brothers(yes, I have 2 elder brothers. I'm the youngest in the family) buy me things. Mom bought mini hair straightener, CN Blue Zepp Tour Concert DVD. KT2(2nd bro) bought me a very classy mechanic pencil, HeartString DVD. KT1 and his fiance belanja me Shogun.

I even buy my own birthday present. I ask my classmate, Elisha, since she's going to the shop that sell lots of k-pop merchandise. I bought Yonghwa's handphone strap and CN Blue file. The phone strap I already begin to use, but the gfile kinda bu she de to use.

When my mom ask where I got those things, I lied, I said my friend give as a birthday present. Coincidentally the next day was my birthday. So it's a good cover up.

About Self

Hi! This i going to be the first post that I'm going talked about me life. You can believe it or you can say it's just make up. It's up to you how you going to think.
*sorry it the grammar or spelling or words got mistake. I know that my English is not really pro**feel free to correct me, if you want*

Okay, first, basic. My name here is Jojo. I'm now 16 years old. Birthday?? 16th of August 1995. Yeah, if you're curious(not!), I'm from Malaysia. so yeah, this explain why my english not that good. I'm a Chinese *so don't be surprise if you see words you don't understand, I try my best to describe the meaning). Yeah, did I mention actually the year I was born wan in the year of boar(pig! oink oink)

The purpose I create this because I could kinda hide myself, but to tell my story and life. I'm not saying that this is my first ever blog. Now that that blog kinda not active any more. even myself don't know how to describe it.

I like the colour blue. Not to mention that I even like boy band that related with Blue. I also like Linkin Park, not to mention. British? Blue. Korean? C.N. Blue. This two band/group really effects me really bad. When I was young(I forgot how old I was) I just on the tv when during that time was just showing MVs. And I just love! Okay, I was talking about Blue.

Now, I'm about how I like CN Blue. All me friends had watched You're Beautiful(korean drama). I think I watched after a few months after a few months they watched. I liked ShinWoo(YongHwa is the real one) a lot!. More than  the main character(no offense to the fans). Then of cause, I'll google, wikipedia him all I can. That's I know CN Blue. Until everything I have are all CN blue. Phone key chain, file, desktop wall paper, phone wall paper, ringtone, caller, ring tone. I admit that they inspiring me to wanted to learn guitar. Another person is Sungha Jung.

I think I describe myself kinda a lot for a first post

Okay i make a conclusion
I'm just a typical Malaysian girl that fantasize a lot.